$100

Compare a fresh, crisp $100 bill...

With this one... 

Which one is worth more?  

Despite it's being tattered and worn, spit on and muddied, burned and soiled, you could probably buy $100 worth of stuff, even with the dirty hundred dollar bill.

$100 is $100 is $100…  

$100 has intrinsic value equal to 

$100.  

And you are worth more...

You are much like the $100.  Except you are priceless...  

God has made you priceless.  You are worthy to God.  You have intrinsic value.  Whether you are a crisp Bill,  freshly printed, just recently born and devoid of error... Or a crumpled, dirty, filthy Bill, regretting most of your life.   You are still worth infinitely more than $100… 

And that is why your head trash has got to stop.  

If you de-value yourself with the words you say to yourself:   

I'm a failure.  I'll never amount to anything.  I could never be anybody.  I could never be loved by anybody...

... or any of a number of things you could say about yourself...  this is what your God says:

I Love you with no condition.  I Love you without reservation.  I Love you.  I Love you.  I am waiting for you.

You are still worthy.   You are called for great things. You are called to a specific purpose.  A purpose that can serve mankind!

Tangent:

I was asked recently to explain why I insist that our lives are about anything other than serving ourselves.    Why should we want to "serve" others?  Especially, if there's nothing in it for us?

All you need to do is give a gift to someone...  Give a gift to someone that did nothing to deserve it.  Do it expecting nothing in return, and witness the feeling that grace brings.  Grace is nothing more and nothing less than a gift that is undeserved.  Share a Thanksgiving turkey with a family that would never have been able to afford it.  Do it for no other reason than to give... and witness the transformation of giving in your life.  That will be explanation enough.   "Givers" gain in this world... and they gain more than money...  (Check out the BNI  motto... sometimes givers do gain money). 

People who spend their lives taking and not giving are missing one of the greatest blessings this life offers––  to give, and give abundantly.

The Importance of Positive Self-Image

Positive Self Image

Today I’m going to elaborate on one of the most important and limiting or enabling qualities of a human being.  I’m going to talk about the man or woman in the mirror.  

Your view of yourself determines your behavior.  Because your behavior today affects who you become and how you perform tomorrow, the Law of the Mirror says, you will never out-perform your self-image.

The value you put on yourself is the value that others will put on you as well.  

John Maxwell says, 

“If you place small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise the price.”

Steps for Building a Positive Image  /  Visual:  Clearing the Muddy Waters  

When you are a baby your water is clean.  Let’s say that your psyche is this cup of water.  Your psyche is clean.  You have a personality, a potential, and a set of natural gifting that are yet to develop.  But as for the voice in a baby’s head.  It’s mommy and daddy’s cooing voice they hear.   

As we get older and negative events and voices start making their impact on our lives, the cup begins to get tarnished with these voices.  Until the voices become our own and we can’t distinguish between the negative voices. And the voices are nothing more than ideas we can believe or not believe.  Their truth value is determined exclusively by you.

I believe that every person is born with unique gifts and potential just waiting to be tapped into.  There are some people that can do things that I will never be good at.  I stick to the things that I’m good at and that I love. I work on a lot of the things I’m not good at so that I can get better, and because doing those things builds me up as well…  

(That doesn’t mean that I was always good at the things I’m good at today.  When we’re babies, we don’t know anything.  We naturally develop all the abilities we own today).

The problem is that many people never even give themselves room to develop the innate abilities within them.  They judge themselves by the way that water looks to them.  They say, water isn’t for me, when they have to put in the work to develop.  Because no-one who was ever great developed their abilities accidentally.  They slaved over those skill sets.  

Henry Ford said,  “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

The voices about yourself you believe determine the vision of the future you can achieve.

How many of you criticize yourself heavily on a pretty regular basis?  And it looks like:  “Man, I’m not good enough. Or, I can’t really do that.  That’s not something for me.  I’ll never be good at that… look at other people, they can do this so well… I wish I could be that good, but I’ll never be that good…”  ?

I used to call that the auto-criticism monster.  Other people call it the gremlin.  Some people call it the enemy.

In the little bit of time I have left, I want to show you a vision of what your life could be.  

This hazy glass is dark and murky.  This is your subconscious… your psyche literally has an unclear view of itself.  And so the vision of your future in turn is unclear.

The Secret is…

We need to flush it out. 

Our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves create emotions.  Emotions are ENERGY in motion.  Emotions affect our actions.  We think about our actions on a conscious and a subconscious level –– those thoughts create further emotion.  That energy in motion creates our behaviors.

We sometimes can’t control the thoughts or voices of our auto-criticism monster/ our gremlin.  But we can control what we say back to those thoughts.  We can control what we believe.  It takes work. But let me show you.

To build your self esteem:

1. Guard your self talk.  Stop talking negative things to yourself.  Never say it out loud, even if it’s in your head.  Instead, talk to yourself out loud and say positive re-enforcing things.  Find positive adjectives and say them out loud while looking in the mirror.
2. Stop comparing yourself to anyone. When you discover that the best version of you has unique things to offer that someone else doesn’t, you’ll be liberated.
3. Create habits and disciplines to combat and kill the auto-criticism monster/ that deadly gremlin cancer.  Practice a small discipline daily.  Get up early and listen to empowering music.
4. Celebrate small victories and log them in your journal.  (You should be journaling and reflecting daily)
5. Write and speak positive adjectives about yourself and give yourself room to grow.
6. Perform intentional acts of kindness and add value to others. 

Embrace growth is a process.  Breathe. Let yourself make mistakes and learn from them.

Our behaviors determine our habits.  Our habits determine our character.  Which in turn determine our DESTINY.

Make the glass clean.  

Are there seeds of greatness within you?

The tree:

Imagine a full grown, healthy apple tree.  

(For those with poor imagination, use the picture ;))

Each branch of the tree represents a role in a person's life, such as:   business owner, manager, teacher, father, brother, sister, son, daughter, friend, church-member, club-member, etc.   You get the idea.    

The leaves represent the memories of your success and failures–– the  experiences of your life that come and go.  Much like the leaves of a tree soak up light of the sun, your memories soak up the light in your life and nurture you in the different branches or roles in your life.

The fruits represent the results your life have produced.  They are what you have to show for your efforts. When you share the fruits with others, and they are good fruits, then the fruits of your life will nurture others in turn.

Finally, and most importantly, beneath the tree, holding it all together and anchored into solid ground, are your roots.

A tall tree catches much wind ~ Chinese Proverb

A tall tree with shallow roots doesn't last too long in a 
hurricane ~  Miami Common Sense

Roots are the most important part of a tree, aren't they?  They are what keeps the tree anchored to the soil.  They absorb the nutrients that feed the rest of the tree.

So what do you think the roots represent?  What purpose would roots have if we were running the metaphor into your life?  

The roots are those things that feed and nurture your psyche.  

The roots are your values, your principles, your paradigms, 

your thoughts and beliefs that hold you up.  

Top level performers in every industry are well grounded with a solid roots system.  They don't second guess their ability to succeed–– and you might thing, "of course they believe in themselves, they're already successful!"  And you are absolutely right:  success multiplies success.  However, top performers that stay top performers never forget where they came from.  They believed in themselves and the results they sought to create long before the results ever showed.

Your roots system begins in your thoughts.  Thoughts crystalize into actions.  Actions crystalize into habits.  Habits crystalize into character.  Character determines your destiny!  - From As a Man Thinketh  by James Allen

What do YOU feed your roots?

       

I remember the first time I heard the words:  "the seeds of greatness are within you."  I thought that was the most ignorant motivational hokey feel good nonsense that people liked to say.  But it wasn't true, of course.   At least, not for me.

Just look at my life, I thought.  

What have I done that's worth anything?

I never realized how terrible self talk can destroy you  until I hit rock bottom with depression.  I never realized how paralyzing the words I told myself were!  These were the thoughts and opinions I carried with me from my youth and upbringing.


Feed your roots positive nutrients with good uplifting books, motivational messages, and an environment conducive to growth.  Practice saying out loud all the things you are grateful for.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful.  You ARE beautiful.   The value and potential you add to the world is unique to you.  No one else in the whole planet has what you have.  There is something about you that will be able to connect with a whole network of people out there that I will never touch.  That John Maxwell will never touch.  And all you have to do is fulfill your calling!

No matter how successful you are, there is always room for growth.  Evaluate your values.  Evaluate your foundations.  And as long as you're intentionally (and regularly) drinking in positive nutrients, then you'll be able to feed the branches of your life–– which in turn will create great, lasting memories and good fruit!

The 3 names you will carry

In your lifetime you receive three names.

The first is the name you are given at birth.  Your parents thought about it for months before you were born (sometimes changing it at the last minute).  Your name may even have carried special significance.   

You do not have control over your given name.  

The second name is the name you give yourself.   It is your self image.  Your identity that you have formed about yourself.  It is the picture of you that you hold steadfast.  "This is who I am."  And you reinforce it with your words:

You have power over your self-image.  

Do you look at your life and say, "I'm so lazy", or "I'm a very productive person" ?  Do you say, "I'm not that smart,"  or do you say "Whatever the challenge, I am creative.  I'll figure it out"  ?   Do you say, "I am unworthy,"  or "I am beloved" ?   These are the words that carry the I am.   What words you pair with 'I am' create your identity.  These words are a reflection of how you see yourself.  

When you talk to yourself, do you criticize and de-value yourself?  Do you believe that you will never amount to something, or that you will change the world and make it a better place?

Finally, the third name you carry is the name of your legacy.  Your final name is the name you will be remembered by.   He was kind.  He was gentle.  He was courageous.  

How you live determines your remembered name.



People will sum your whole life in one sentence.  So choose your life sentence now and start living toward it  ~ John Maxwell

Law of Intentionality

No one ever grew by accident.   We may get older by hanging around, but we don't get better.  There's a big difference between getting older and getting better.  

Not everyone thinks this way. 

In my family, the message I got from my elders was that age, experience, and wisdom all come standard with wrinkles and cellulite.  As a curious young person, if I disagreed or questioned my elders, their standard answer was.  I'm older. I'm wiser.  I know better than you.


There are plenty of cases where age and experience provides insight.  But it isn't an automatic process.  Becoming aware of this reality is the first step in becoming a person who makes growth a habit.  All those who begin the intentional journey of personal growth never regret it.

Few people have any idea how to grow.  Few people have a plan for personal growth.  There are people that have worked in the same role, capacity, or job for years and have been stuck at the same level of performance without improvement.

We all know people that are anxious to get over their problems; they may even want to be better–– but they seldom are willing to do what it takes.  Average people want to change their circumstances, but won't change themselves.

Self check:    Are you average, or are you pursuing excellence and growth with enough awareness and intentionality in order to improve your craft?  Do your results reflect consistent personal growth?  Or have you reached a plateau?  How long have you been there?

To meet your potential, you need to overcome your present circumstances and grow.  You need to have a plan for personal growth.  Experiment with the following for a day or two... or even for a week or a month.  Ask around to see who has a "plan for personal growth."   I guarantee that you'll be surprised by how many people have no clue what you mean.

When I first heard John Maxwell talk about a personal growth plan, I started asking myself who I knew that might be on a plan of personal growth.  Many people I knew were readers.  Many read fiction. Some read books in their industry.  But only one of my closest friends and mentors had an intentional and disciplined growth plan.

How many times have you known what you were supposed to do to get through an obstacle, but you procrastinated taking action.  You figured, maybe that situation would resolve itself.   Maybe the answer would come to you.  Or you may have asked people you trusted what they thought you should do, and while the answer they gave made sense to you, you still didn't take action...

Most people accept their lives.  They don't lead their lives.

In order to grow, you need to grow on purpose.

The best way to develop a personal growth plan is to learn first how to grow.   The 15 invaluable Laws of Growth  is a great book.  A system for learning exactly what "growth" is all about, and what factors influence our growth most.  

For example:  

The law of Intentionality:     You won't grow by accident.  So you need a plan.  You need intentionality.  You need to be living on purpose.

The law of the mirror:     You need to see value in yourself in order to add value to yourself.

The law of awareness:  You need to know what areas you are strongest in and which areas you are weakest in, so that you can grow accordingly.  Imagine you had weaknesses that you were unaware of...  how could those hamper your development?  How can you overcome an obstacle you don't know is there?  You can't.

The law of design:  To maximize your performance, develop a plan.  What's your plan?  How do you develop a plan to improve yourself?  

Contact me if you want to develop a plan for your personal growth, or the growth of your team;  a coach is a great resource to help us raise our awareness.  As they say,  it's difficult to see the picture when you're standing in the frame.